Important Announcement:

Hey there! I am now a Knight at Medieval Times and only do writing on the side. If you want to see how we train for battle (and you can too) come visit me, gomknight, on instagram! We have a Knight podcast in the works too, so stay tuned!!

Blue Squire Stage Directions

Big Ring
Collect RINGS that fall from the Rack. Collect LANCE and RINGS from BLUE KNIGHT. Take ALL RINGS BACKSTAGE.

Flags

Go to BLUE CORNER. Catch FLAGS from KNIGHTS. Swap necessary FLAGS with YELLOW SQUIRE afterwards. Put FLAGS back.

Javelin
Retrieve JAVELINS from BLUE CORNER. Hand out to KNIGHTS. WAIT in Blue CORNER. Retrieve JAVELINS from opposite end after GREEN KNIGHT finishes, and PUT AWAY.

Little Ring
Retrieve LANCES from BLUE CORNER and hand out to KNIGHTS. Check for FOOLS in FRONT ROW. WAIT at LITTLE RING RACK, then go to MIDDLE of arena. Bring RACK DOWN if RING comes down, then put it UP after R/Y puts in new RING. Retrieve BLUE and GREEN KNIGHT’S RINGS afterwards. Reroll RINGS with R/Y SQUIRE. EXIT ARENA.


1st fight Small Bola (R/Y, Red)
Pawn: Middle Black. When YELLOW KNIGHT rides by, wait by MIDDLE BLACK RAIL. CARRY RAIL when R/Y KNIGHT passes YOU (nod to signal other SQUIRES). After FIRST PASS grab R/Y LANCE or WOODEN TIPS, then same on SECOND PASS. Carry RAIL back when MC says “DISMOUNT”. Bring MIDDLE BLACK PAWN to GREEN CORNER. Carry any equipment backstage. Go to LIGHT HORSE RAIL.


2nd fight Mace (B/W, Blue)
Pawn: Light horse rail. Run rail on nod. On first pass, reequip B/W KNIGHT with NEW LANCE. On SECOND PASS, wait by the WEAPON RACK. When BLUE KNIGHT falls off of his horse, grab a MANDOBLE. Go to him on the ground to see if he’s okay, then give him the MANDOBLE while taking his HELMET. Bring the HELMET somewhere in GREEN CORNER (give to a SQUIRE if possible). When BLUE KNIGHT dies, B/W KNIGHT will grab BLUE KNIGHT. When the dialogue finishes, B/W KNIGHT will throw BLUE KNIGHT. Go to BLUE KNIGHT’s side on one knee looking down. When BLUE KNIGHT exits, grab his MANDOBLE from the ground and put it back on the wall. Go to HEAVY HORSE RAIL.


3rd fight Ax (Green, Yellow)
Pawn: Heavy horse rail. On first pass, grab YELLOW KNIGHT’S DISCARDED LANCE/TIPS. On SECOND PASS, when the MC says, “HE IS UNHORSED”, run HEAVY HORSE RAIL and HEAVY HORSE HEAD back. Wait by the tunnel for YELLOW HORSE to ride through. Then bring any equipment backstage. Go and wait in RED CORNER.


4th fight Mandoble (Yellow, R/Y)
Sit and wait. After YELLOW KNIGHT dies, wait by RED CORNER LANCE RACK.


5th fight Double Sword (Red, Blue)

Pawn: None. After FIRST PASS, give LANCE to RED KNIGHT then immediately go to the RUNDOWN SHIELD on the opposite wall. When BLUE KNIGHT FALLS, give him the RUNDOWN SHIELD. After the RUNDOWN, when the MC says, “DISMOUNT”, retrieve BLUE KNIGHT’S HELMET and RUNDOWN SHIELD. Put them on the wall then immediately give BLUE KNIGHT DOUBLE ESPADAS. When RED KNIGHT dies, grab a MANDOBLE and wait in R/Y SECTION.

6th fight Sword & Shield (Blue, B/W)

When BLUE KNIGHT throws his ESPADA into the sand, run to him and give him the

MANDOBLE. B/W KNIGHT will run out and there will be a dialogue. When BLUE KNIGHT says, “I ACCEPT”, grab BLUE FIGHT SHIELD and an ESPADA and bring it to BLUE KNIGHT, and take his MANDOBLE. Put it back on the wall. When BLUE KNIGHT dies, take him on your shoulder and take him backstage. Wait by B/W SQUIRE and B/W HORSE.

7th fight Big Bola (B/W, R/Y)

hen B/W SQUIRE runs out with his horse, follow behind. Take B/W KNIGHT’S FIGHT SHIELD and ESPADA, along with the SLAP GLOVE backstage. Once they’re put away backstage, go to RED CORNER and just lend a hand.

Hotdog Squire Stage Directions

Games

Same as Black and White, just at the other side of the arena, and you don't have to take out a poop bucket or pull the javelins out of the target.

1st fight Small Bola (Red, R/Y)

• Run out with the light horse-head and place it at the 5th (farthest) laser dot. 
• Arm your knight with lance and shield after Red Squire disarms him. Run the light horse-head rail.
• Re-arm Red Knight with lance after first pass.
• After second pass, give your knight the bola hanging beside the lance rack and take his helmet. Also pick up his shield and discarded lance; run them to the wall and run the rail back. Immediately run back to the wall and get your knight's fight shield and present it to him—this will be a full sprint down the arena.
• After the shield throw, arm your knight with a mandoble from the wall.

2nd fight Mace (Blue, B/W)

• Take a pawn to the second laser dot as your knight walks back to the tunnel. He will hand you his mandoble as he passes. Put the mandoble in your belt and then put it on the wall after you run the rails.
• On passes, pick up tips, lances, etc.. 
• Run the rails on the middle pawn, and then quickly take that pawn to the edge of green corner.
• Clear what you can, and come back with a pair of fresh lances for blue corner.

3rd fight Ax (Green, Yellow)

• Again take a pawn to the second laser dot. Run the rails.
• Collect whatever on first pass. Knight falls on second pass. Run the rails and take the pawn to red corner.
• Clear the ax and shield when the knights are re-armed during the fight.

4th fight Mandoble (R/Y, Yellow)

• Take a pawn to the second laser dot at the end of the fight. Your knight may or may not hand you his mandoble as he exits the arena.

5th fight Double Sword (Red, Blue)

• Once again, take a pawn to the second laser dot. Run the rails. Pick up whatever you can during passes. Run the rails back.
• Clear your pawn, along with anything else you can carry, and run it all backstage.

6th fight Sword & Shield (B/W, Blue)

• Wait in green corner near the edge of the net that protects the audience. B/W squire may hand you a broken lance that you can quickly run backstage.
• Pick up the Blue Knight's kill sword and put it back on the wall. Wait in the same spot as before.

7th fight Bola (R/Y, B/W)

• When your knight gets knocked off his horse, run back to the green door. As soon as the B/W Knight rides by, run for the back-breaker lance in the middle of the weapon rack. Present it to your knight with point facing opposite the direction of the dais. Now get a mandoble and the r/y fight shield from the wall; present them to him after he is disarmed.
• Around the time the bola gets thrown, you can head backstage. Grab the R/Y lance and wait with your knights horse.

Championship Ceremony

At the conclusion of the fight, the curtain will open and you will run out with the horse along the red wall, up B/W, and into yellow (don't go too deep). Slow to a walk and bring the horse to the center of the arena—you should be at the edge of the red light. Walk the horse down the center to your knight in the spotlight. He will hand you his sword and jump on the horse. Hand him the the lance, put the sword on the wall, then wait by the door in green corner.

The knight will do a lap around the arena and slow to stop near you. Take the horse and the lance as he dismounts and goes into the crowd. Walk the horse up to the middle of the weapon rack, turn him toward the center, and wait.

Another squire will come out with the champions cape and flag. You will exchange the lance and the flag. After your knight comes back and mounts the horse, hand him the flag with the point facing straight up (as you would a lance). The other knights will be coming out of the tunnel. After the Master of Horse charges out, sprint into the tunnel to meet your fellow squires. Get your banner from B/W squire and run out with them. 

Red Squire Stage Directions

Big Ring
Retrieve your knight's lance and rings. Collect rings to give to Blue Squire.

Flags
Bring flags to middle of arena and unfurl them. Toss the to Zebra Squire. Pick up any flags the knights drop and toss them to Yellow Squire. Run backstage after the game is complete.

Javelin
Wait for Green Squire's nod to open the curtain, then chain the curtain. Wait backstage for the duration of the game. While there, you can move the joust shields from the railing to the tractor (leave Red and R/Y shield on the railing). Unhook and close the curtain after the game is done.

Little Ring
Run out and, if necessary, help Zebra Squire set up the pole. Lookout for patrons and staff in the front row. Pick up any rings the knights drop. After the game, let the horses ride by then put the empty cartridges on the wall, take down the pole and return it to its rack. Wait in front of the curtain in case one of the knights drop their favours.


1st Fight Small Bola (R/Y, Red)

• Run out with the heavy horse-head
• After all horses ride by, arm your knight with a lance and the joust shield on the rack.
• Re-arm R/Y Knight with a lance
• Give your knight the rundown shield after he has been unhorsed
• After the rundown, take your knight's helmet and shield and set them against the wall. Grab the small ax and red fight shield from the wall; present them to your knight in the spotlight.
• When shield is thrown, re-arm your knight with a mandoble.
• Pick up your knight. The other knight will call him in for a handshake, so you can let him go.

2nd fight Mace (B/W, Blue)

• Set up the heavy horse-head and run out the rail.
• On the passes grab the broken lances and the shield.
• Move up a pawn. Run the rails when B/W knight dismounts and return pawn to green corner.
• Clear whatever you can. 

3rd fight Ax (Green, Yellow)

• Place a pawn on the fourth laser dot and run out the rails.
• On first pass, collect the lance. Second pass, run back the rails and grab Yellow's discarded lance, shield, and whatever else you can carry to the backstage.
• Pick up Green Knight's kill sword and hold onto it. Wait in red corner.

4th fight Mandoble (Yellow, R/Y)

• Yellow Squire will hand you another espada. After the fight concludes, run the two swords up to yellow corner and stick them in the sand, near the wall.

5th fight Double Sword (Blue, Red)

• Run the rail to the light horse-head.
• Re-arm Blue Knight with lance.
• Take your knight's helmet and give him a fresh lance. Also pick up his discarded lance and shield and stash them near the wall.
• Quickly run the rail back, then grab the two espadas you stuck in the sand. Run them across the arena to arm your knight in the spotlight.
• Pick up your knight.

6th fight Sword and Shield (B/W, Blue)

• Clear the Blue Knight's espada and shield.

7th fight Big Bola (B/W, R.Y)

• Clear Broken lance and sword
• Clear Bola and shield
• Get the kill sword

Zebra Squire Stage Directions

Big Ring

Bring poop bucket to red corner. Get your knight’s lance and rings

Flags

Set up the flag rack after each pass. If Red Squire has to grab a fallen flag, then bring the flag with you when you set up.

Javelin

Stand in green corner near the tunnel. Pull the javelins out of the target. The MC may ask for your opinion on whether it was good or not. Hand three javelins (yellow, black, red) to Yellow Squire after Green Knight leaves the tunnel.

Little Ring

Take the pole off the wall and set it up. Warn anyone standing near the edge of the arena that lances will be coming by. Change the ring cartridges if a knight knocks the ring out. Careful not to put the cartridge in backwards—the ribbon should be facing you. When the knights are finished, take the ring from your knight, swap colours with the other squires, and re-roll the rings back on the cartridges.

1^st fight Small Bola (Red, R/Y)

• Open the curtain, then run out and wait in red corner.
• Disarm Red Knight. Place lance and shield on racks.
• Run out the heavy horse-head rail. Retrieve anything nearby on passes. Run the rail back.
• Take the red shield and lance backstage. Return with two lances for the same rack

2^nd fight Mace (B/W, Blue)

• Wait in red corner
• Rearm Blue Knight with a lance after first pass.
• After second pass, immediately run the mace to your knight and take his helmet (he will still be on his horse). Quickly run the heavy horse-head rail back when your knight dismounts.
• (?) Pick up Blue Knight’s mandoble and put it back on the wall.

3^rd fight Ax (Yellow, Green)

• Take middle pawn. Give the nod to run out the rails.
• Pick up anything nearby on the only pass, run the rails back on “…unhorsed!”
• Pick up the ax or anything else you can grab and run it backstage.

4^th fight Mandoble (Yellow, R/Y)

• Grab the kill sword and put it on the wall.

5^th fight Double Sword (Red, Blue)

• Bring third pawn to fourth laser dot. Run the rails.
• Pick up lance on the first pass; anything else in the vicinity.
• After you run the rails back, run the pawn and the light horse-head backstage.
• While backstage, your knight should be on his horse. Arm him with an espada and then a lance

6^th fight Sword & Shield (B/W, Blue)

• Take your knights fight shield off the wall and arm him after he dismounts.
• (?) Pick up the kill sword and run it backstage.

7^th fight Big Bola (R/Y, B/W)

• Backstage, grab a horse sword and wait with the horse.
• When the MC says “Black and White Knight, your ambition is a poison that…(or something like that)”, run out to your knight and give him the horse and the sword.
• Wait near yellow corner, be sure to move up to the R/Y shield after that knight is unhorsed, grab the disarmed horse sword.
• When your knight dives overhead of the R/Y knight, grab a mandoble from the wall and arm him with it.
• Pick up your knight after he dies.

Yellow Squire Stage Directions

Big Ring 

Wait by YELLOW CORNER. Collect LANCE and RINGS from YELLOW KNIGHT.

Flags 

Grab FLAGS from BLUE CORNER. Throw YELLOW FLAG to R/Y SQUIRE. Go to YELLOW CORNER.

Javelin 

Retrieve JAVELINS from YELLOW CORNER. Hand out to KNIGHTS. WAIT in YELLOW CORNER. Retrieve JAVELINS from opposite end after GREEN KNIGHT finishes, and PUT AWAY.

Little Ring 

Retrieve LANCES from YELLOW CORNER and hand out to KNIGHTS. Check for FOOLS in FRONT ROW. Wait at LITTLE RING RACK, then go to MIDDLE of arena. Bring RACK DOWN if RING comes down, then put it UP after B/W puts in new RING. Retrieve YELLOW and RED KNIGHT’S RINGS afterwards. Get JOUST LANCES from YELLOW CORNER and put them in BLUE CORNER. Put SHIELD from BLUE CORNER on TOP LANCE. Re-roll RINGS with B/W SQUIRE. Exit Arena.

Fight One: Small Bola (R/Y, Red)

Pawn: first black.

• After Yellow Knight rides by, wait by rail. 
• Retrieve lance or tips on both passes. Run rails back on dismount. 
• When R/Y knight throws his shield, grab ax, bola, and red shield. Run equipment backstage.

Fight Two: Mace (B/W, Blue)

Pawn: third black.

• Pickup B/W’s lance after First pass. Shift down to light horse rail. Carry rail back after B/W knight dismounts. Carry equipment backstage. Go back to light horse rail.

Fight Three: Ax (Yellow, Green)

Pawn: Light horse head.

• First pass, rearm Green Knight with a lance. Second pass, when MC says, “…Unhorsed!”, run the light horse rail to the wall. 
• Get an espada and yellow shield from the wall OR the large ax (check the board). Give the weapons to the knight and take his helmet. 
• During the fight, Yellow Knight will push Green Knight with his shield. When this happens, grab his espada from the ground and give it back to him, OR give him a new one if he was using the ax. 
• When he wins, grab a mandoble from the wall and wait at B/W section. When your knight gestures you over, give him the mandoble and take his espada. Give the espada to the Red Squire. 

Fight Four: Mondoble (Yellow, R/Y)

• After yellow knight dies, carry him backstage.

Fight Five: Double Sword (Red, Blue)

Pawn: Heavy horse.
Run rail on nod. After FIRST PASS, retrieve RED KNIGHT’S LANCE/TIPS. After SECOND PASS, pickup any extra TIPS (otherwise wait). On the RUNDOWN, retrieve RED KNIGHT’S USED LANCE. When the MC says “DISMOUNT”, run the HEAVY HORSE HEAD and HEAVY HORSE HEAD RAIL back to the wall. Immediately bring HEAVY HORSE HEAD backstage. Then immediately return to RED CORNER. After the fight has concluded, retrieve the THREE ESPADAS that were thrown during the fight. Put them back on their rack. Bring any extra equipment backstage.

Fight Six: Sword and Shield (B/W, Blue)

Backstage—only on the last show of the day—take all shields and weapons from under the board and bring them to the warehouse. Weapons go in their designated spots; shields go next to Damien’s workbench. 

Fight Seven: Big Bola (B/W, R/Y)

• Grab Broken lance and sword.
• Grab bola and R/Y shield.
• Grab the kill sword.

Green Squire Stage Directions

Big Ring

• Run to the blue section shield with poop bucket; place bucket under shield and scooper under lance rack.
• Take the Green knight’s lance, remove rings and give to R/Y Squire, set lance on lowest rung of rack.
• Run to dais to catch knights’ fallen flowers.

Flag Toss

• Run out to stand beside R/Y Squire and pick up any flags that the knights drop. R/Y sets up the flag stand; toss him the next flag leaning against the wall behind you. First B/W, then red.
• Run to the dais to catch flowers again.
• After all winning knights get flowers, peek behind the curtain and nod to the Red Squire. He will open the curtain. Attach the chain around the curtain to keep it from being loose.
• Go stand in front of the Green section shield.

Javelin

• The other squires will hand you the javelins after the knights have thrown them into the target. Jab them in the sand to make two piles for hits and misses. Try to keep the colours on their respective sides if possible.
• After the Green knight emerges from the tunnel, help the Red Squire unchain the curtain and wait to catch flowers.

Little Ring

• Run to R/Y Squire; he will hand you a ring to hold (or maybe you have to take it off the wall).
• Keep an eye out for waitresses or patrons near the edge of the arena. Warn them that lances are coming.
• Pick up any rings that fall off the bar and attach them to empty ring holders that R/Y squire may hand you. After three knights have passed, quickly place the ring holders on the wall. Unhook the bar and place on the wall. Run backstage and open the curtain when Lord Marshal says, “…East and West!” Close the curtain behind him, then take his horse to its stall.

Joust pres position is third from the right (last open position). Take a big side step to the left when you get to the end. Both Green and Red squires should be shoulder-to-shoulder and lined up as if they were standing together on the stairs in the audience.

1st Fight (Small Bola)

• Run out the pawn to the fourth laser dot, behind R/Y who has the horse.
• Take the R/Y knight’s disarms (lance, feather, shield), place on the lance rack, run to 4^th position on rails. Wait for 3^rd position squire’s signal to run out rails.
• First pass pick up Red lance, second pass pick up tips.
• Clear rails on dismount, place pawn near flag stand on Yellow side, clear R/Y knight’s disarms and anything else you can pick up along the way.

2nd fight (Mace)

• Place 3^rd position pawn on laser-dot after Lord Marshal leaves spotlight. Give the nod to run out the rails after Lord Marshal turns his horse away.
• Pick up tips both passes, maybe pick up shield if it lands nearby.
• Clear rails on dismount and run pawn to flag stand on blue side.
• Clear mace and anything you find along the way.

3rd fight (Ax)

• Stand near red corner, salute your knight and prepare to rearm Yellow knight with lance. You don’t run out pawns or rails this time.
• First pass: rearm Yellow, then run to pick up Green knight’s ax or sword & shield depending on what the board says they’ll be using that fight.
• Arm your knight after Yellow’s horse runs by you.
• Pick up an espada (short sword) from the wall. When Yellow Knight throws his shield, run out and rearm Green with the espada.
• After Green dies, pick him up and walk him backstage. Immediately run back out to the arena.

4^th fight (Mandoble)

• Pick up any weapons the other squires may have missed. Replenish lance racks if necessary.

5^th fight (Double Sword)

• Place 3^rd position pawn on laser-dot after Lord Marshal leaves spotlight. Give the nod to run out the rails after Lord Marshal turns his horse away.
• First pass, pick up tips. Second pass, pick up tips and blue shield.
• On dismount, run the rails back and bring the 3^rd position pawn backstage with anything else lying at the edges of the arena that you can carry (lances, shields, helmets, maybe even another pawn).

6^th fight (Sword and Shield)

• When the Blue Knight dies he will throw his shield to the wall. Clear it along with a nearby sword sticking in the sand
• Pick up any swords the other squires may have missed

Final fight (Bola)

• Clear the broken lance and horse sword
• Clear the R/Y shield and Bola after it is thrown
• Clear the kill sword

Final Pres

Give the “Hup!” when the MC starts talking again after he says “…queen of love and beauty.” Give the final “Hup!” when all squires are lined up in front of the tunnel.

Real-life Scooby-Doo Mystery Villains

My second article for Grunge. It's about people who in history who pretended to be ghosts for revenge or financial gain.

Real-life Scooby-Doo Mystery Villains

The Incredible Stories Behind Monuments Built Over Grudges

Hello all,

I've recently begun writing for Grunge.com and my first article is out. You'll read about ancient grudges, warriors, murders, ghosts, and what Sarah Michelle Gellar should have done to defeat the ghost in the movie The Grudge. Click on the link below.

The incredible stories behind monuments built over grudges.

How to get Published at Listverse: Waiting on a Response

Readers often contact me for tips on how to get published at Listverse so I thought I might post some general tips and guidelines, stuff you won't find in the Listverse Style Guide.

Let's get the obvious stuff out of the way. Your article has to be well-written, free of typos, and feature crisp, varied sentences. The shorter the sentence, the better, but too many short sentences and the writing will feel stilted. It's a balance, and the only way to get better is to practice.


Pro-tip: The less editing your list needs, the faster Listverse will respond to you. 


If your list is polished they will publish it so fast it will blister your toes. Many of my lists have been accepted and published within a span of three or four days. These are under ideal conditions, meaning your premise is interesting, your sources are good, and your entries match your premise. Good job.

I've seen a lot of people complaining on Facebook that Listverse is not responding to their submissions. This has happened to me and every Listverse author that I'm aware of, so don't feel too bad. There are a lot of reasons this happens and you can't know them all without being in an editor's head, but I will say that every time there has been a delay in their response — every time — my list has needed some work. And the more work needed, the longer the delay. I've noticed it goes something like this:

• Some sources need changing (but everything else is good) — a short delay, if any.
• Some entries need replacing — a bit longer delay, maybe between 3-7 days.
• The premise needs tweaking — Takes a while to get back to you. May have to send them a reminder email after two weeks and bug them about it. If this is the case, review your list and consider ways you can make it better before you re-submit and send that email.

You may be wondering, "Why is there any delay at all? Don't they respond to each list in the order received?"

No, they don't.


Pro-tip: Listverse does not respond to submissions in the order they are received. 


After I submitted my list on mystical cats, I heard nothing for a week or two. In the meantime my list on pirates had been accepted, published, and paid for. I assumed that there might be something wrong with the cat list so I rethought the premise, submitted a new version, and nudged them to look at it. Alex (an excellent editor) got back to me, said he liked the new premise and asked if I could replace two of the entries. And voila:

10 Strange and Mystical Cats People Believed In

Some of the editors are in college/university, which means that during some months of the year, like during exams, they don't have much time to give feedback to submissions. But they still need to post three lists a day. So the closer your list is to publishable quality, the faster it will be accepted.

Now how exactly do you get a list to publishable quality? Glad you asked.

In the coming posts I'll talk about easy ways to find sources for obscure information. How to link those sources so the editors can find them in mountains of text (which will decrease their response time). How you can take "the same obscure facts that are repeated all over the internet" and present them in new and interesting ways. How to summarize dry histories and make them exciting. And how to tell a story by writing a list.

Any questions so far? Leave a comment. If not, on to the next post (I'll link to the next post when it's available).

More Korean Fairy Tales

Edit: I added a translation for the first video, which I forgot was in Korean.

Gold Ax, Silver Ax

There was an honest woodcutter who worked to provide a living for his parents. One day while chopping a tree, his iron ax slipped out of his hands and flew into the nearby river, where it was lost. The woodcutter couldn't afford another ax. His parents would starve. He sat down beside the river and cried.

But the ax landed at the feet of a god who lived at the bottom of the river, and the god decided to test the woodcutter. The god emerged from the water and said, “Lowly human, you seem to have dropped your ax.” The god produced an ax with a shining silver blade.

“I did drop my ax” said the woodcutter, “but that is not mine.”

“Then is this your ax?” The river god conjured an ax with solid gold blade.

The woodcutter shook his head. “My ax has an iron blade.”

The river god gave the woodcutter back his iron ax. “That's the one! Thank you very much.” The god rewarded the woodcutter for his honesty by giving him all three axes. From then on his parents lived a rich life.

A dishonest woodcutter happened to overhear the tale of the gold and silver axes, so he went to the same river and through his iron ax in, where it nearly struck the god on the head. The god emerged and gave the dishonest woodcutter the same test, but the dishonest woodcutter claimed the gold and silver axes belonged to him. The god was angry and left with all three axes. The dishonest woodcutter was now left without an iron ax, and his business was ruined.

The Rabbit's Judgment

Blue Frog: A Korean Fairy Tale

photo by Daan de Vos

There was once a widower frog who had a disobedient son named Blue Frog. Blue Frog always did the opposite of what his mother told him. If she said to go play in the hills, he went swimming in the pond. If she told him to swim in the pond, he would play in the hills. If she told him to sit down and eat his mosquito pie, he would stand and relieve himself.

“Blue Frog!” shouted the mother. “Just once I wish you'd do as I say! Anything at all! Please say, 'ribbit, ribbit,'”

Blue Frog said, “Bit-rib, bit-rib!” and danced off into the distance.

Soon the mother frog had become ill, and she felt it was her time to die. She thought to herself, “That foolish son of mine always does the opposite of what I say. If I tell him to bury me on the mountain, he'll bury me by the creek, where the rains will wash my body away.” So on her deathbed, she told her son to bury her by the creek, knowing he would do the opposite.

Blue Frog blamed himself for his mother's death. “I'm so sorry, mother,” he cried. “You got sick because I never listened. From now on I will do as you say. Ribbit, ribbit!” Blue Frog didn't think it was a very good idea to bury his mother near the creek, but he vowed to follow her wishes. Now, whenever it rains, the Blue Frog worries about his mother and cries "ribbit, ribbit."

Thanks for reading!

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6 Mythical Things That Actually Existed

This is a continuation of my super popular list 10 Mythical Things That Actually Existed


6 Monster Boars

photo source

Artemis, Olympian goddess of the hunt, let loose two monstrous boars on the Greeks: The Erymanthian Boar was subdued by Hercules, the fourth of his twelve labors. The Calydonian Boar was the focus of an epic hunt in which many of Greece’s finest heroes took part.

There did exist in human history a breed of “terminator pigs” that could only be wrestled down by Earth’s greatest heroes. The largest among them was the Daeodon, which translated from the original Greek means “destructive teeth.” An average man would only stand as tall as its shoulder, and it measured 12 feet (3.6 meters) long.





5 Glow-in-the-Dark Mushrooms

Glowing mushrooms appear in novels, television shows, movies and video games, but they’re more than just a shared idea. They’re real.

There are over 70 known species of glow-in-the-dark mushrooms. The brightest, neonothopanus gardneri, was only recently rediscovered in Brazil. Exactly why they glow is unknown, but it is believed the light attracts nocturnal animals that help spread spores. Or it could be to scare off predators much in the same way a colorful animal lets you know it is poisonous.




4 King Kong

Source

The real eighth wonder of the world wasn’t as tall as his on-screen counterpart, but at 10 feet (3 meters) tall and weighing 1,200 pounds (544 kilograms), and with proportionate gorilla strength, it’s not a stretch to assume he could pick up a skinny blonde actress in one hand. His species is known scientifically by the genus Gigantopithecus. They lived in China and Southeast Asia up until some 300,000 years ago. Coincidentally, the fictional Skull Island is also located in Southeast Asia off the coast of Sumatra in Indonesia.




3 Chocobos

Source

 
Flightless birds that can be ridden like horses are a staple in the famous Final Fantasy series. The chocobo’s appearance is based on the diatryma, which at first was believed to be the top predator after the extinction of the dinosaurs, but a recent study concluded that they were in fact gentle herbivores much like the chocobos they would inspire.

But if the inspiration isn’t good enough, and you’d like to see a bird that lived alongside humans and could theoretically be ridden, look to the elephant bird. It lived in Madagascar and weighed 880 pounds (400 kilograms)—about as much as a light riding horse. A single elephant bird egg was large enough to make thirty omelets, which may have factored into humans hunting them to extinction 300 years ago.

Good news: There may be a real-life “phoenix down.” Scientists have discovered how to extract DNA from elephant bird eggshells, meaning they could soon be resurrected.




2 Will-o'-the-wisp

Source

Will-o’-the-wisps appear in books from Dracula to Harry Potter, and sightings of them have occurred all over the world. What exactly a wisp does and what it’s called varies by location, but some of the most well-known tales say that it is a malevolent spirit that leads travelers off safe paths and into dangerous marshes. It recedes if it is approached, but draws closer if left behind. Some legends state that they mark the locations of mystical treasure.

Will-o’-the-wisps are actually a naturally occurring phenomenon known as ignes fatuus, which is the spontaneous combustion of marsh gases that arise from stagnant water and decaying matter in swamps. The reason a wisp moves farther away as you attempt to get closer is because your footsteps disturb the marshes and prevent the gases from being released. Wisps are rarely seen today due to the destruction of marshlands.




1 Tolkien’s Eagles

Amaterasu-234 on Deviant Art

In seems that whenever the characters in Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit get into an inescapable situation, the Eagles swoop in and carry them to safety. But these winged deus ex machina aren’t exclusive to Middle-Earth. Although we’re pretty sure the Haast’s Eagle didn’t talk, they were capable of lifting creatures bigger than humans. It stalked the skies of New Zealand up until the year 1400, and its favorite meal was the moa, a bipedal bird that weighed up to 510 pounds (230 kilograms). If you doubt whether the Haast’s Eagle could lift such a beast, watch this video of a present day eagle soaring with a goat in its clutches.

The Haast’s Eagle was 40% larger than the largest species of eagle living today. It had a wingspan of 10 feet (3 meters), and it is believed to have been so large that it approached the physical limits of flight. They died out when humans hunted their food source to extinction.

2 More Supernatural Creatures of Islam

An extension of 10 Supernatural Creatures of Islamic Tradition on Listverse.

12 Bahamut

In addition to being the center of Christianity, Jesus of Nazareth is also a figure in Islam, but Muslims don't consider him the son of God, rather he is a prophet and a messenger. In “Arabian Nights” Jesus beholds a creature of such enormous size that he falls unconscious from attempting to look at it. The Bahamut is so large that all the seas of the world, if placed in its nostril, would be like a mustard seed laid in the desert.

The Bahamut is a fish with the head of a hippopotamus or an elephant. On its back stands a titanic bull. When the bull inhales, the ocean tides go out, and when he exhales the tides come in. On the back of the bull is a mountain, and on the top of that mountain is an angel that supports the seven worlds on its shoulders, much like Atlas from Greek mythology. Beneath Bahamut is the void—violent winds blasting thick mist through veils of darkness.

Although Bahamut is the fish in Arabian Nights, things are a bit different in Islamic scripture. Here it says that Bahamut is the bull.


11 Sand Sprites

 
Strange things happen in the desert. The heat plays tricks on your mind. Ancient Arabs believed a sandy whirlwind to be an evil jinni crossing the desert. Whenever Arabs saw one of these mini-tornadoes, they shouted “Iron! Iron!” because jinn were afraid of iron. Some still shout at whirlwinds, but it is more or less out of superstition now.

In addition to the whirlwind jinn, pixie-like beings called Ahl al-trab were thought to exist in the Saharas desert. The Ahl al-trab were trickster that lived just below the surface of the sand and waited by pools of water for a traveler to approach. When the thirsty traveler drew near, Ahl al-trab would drink up the pool of water so that it would run out just as the traveler arrived. They also like to trip-up passing camels, just as an extra bit of knobbery.

One More Christmas Visitor

Here's a bonus entry for my Listverse article 10 Benevolent or Frightening Christmas Visitors.

11 Befana the Epiphany Witch

Photo via giglionews

Befana is an old witch that gives gifts to the children of Italy on January 5, a celebration day known as Epiphany Eve. She functions much in the same way as Santa Claus, and she has an interesting story.

When the Three Wise Men were following the north star to meet baby Jesus, they stopped at Befana's house for directions. Befana was the best housekeeper in her village, and invited the Wise Men to rest for the night at her house. She fed them and pampered them so well that they asked if she would like to travel with them to meet Jesus. Befana declined because she was too busy with her chores, but after they left she had a change of heart. Although she went after them, she was unable to catch-up. To this day she is still searching for baby Jesus, leaving gifts for all the children she meets on her journey. Don't let her see you though. She is very shy and will swing her broom at anyone who looks upon her.

There's also a darker, and much different, version of this tale. In it, Befana is mad with grief after losing her child. When she hears that Jesus has been born, she thinks he must be her lost child and goes in search of him. When she finds him she gives him all sorts of gifts, and in return Jesus makes her mother of all the children in Italy.

Two More Strange and Mystical Cats

Read 10 Strange and Mystical Cats People Believed In on Listverse. Here are two bonus entries that were cut from the original list.

12 The Demon Cat of Washington D.C.

photo source: motaen.com

In the 19th century, caretakers of the U.S. Capitol Building decided to solve their rat problem by releasing an army of cats into the basement. The cats did their job, but by the time humans took over extermination duties there was only one cat remaining…and it seemed to be immortal. This demon cat, nicknamed DC, appears when disaster is about to strike. It was spotted before Lincoln's assassination in 1865, and it was seen again almost 100 years later right before Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. It was also seen preceding the stock market crash of 1929.

The demon cat usually appears in the Senate basement near the catafalque storage room. The catafalque is the dais on which the president's casket lies when his body is displayed for mourning. Security guards who patrol this crypt at night need to be wary. In 1862 a guard shot the cat, but it vanished unharmed. In 1898, another guard claims to have encountered the cat. He found himself held in place by fear. As the normal-sized cat charged at him, it grew with each step until it was the size of an elephant. The guard fired his gun and the demon cat disappeared.

11 The Yule Cat

The Yule Cat was here, but now he is on submission as part of a Christmas themed list. Wish him luck!

In the meantime, click on "Top Ten Lists" in the navigation bar above to see all of my Listverse articles.

Update: Congratulations, Yule Cat! He's now one of 10 Benevolent or Frightening Beings That Visit You On Christmas. 

photo source

The Anonymous Rogues' Gallery

Barret Brown

Photo credit: The Guardian

Many Anonymous members have no actual hacking skills. No one exemplifies this better than Barrett Brown, a freelance journalist and activist who was drawn to Anonymous because they held the same ideals (for the most part). Barrett's computer skills didn't allow him to do much more than log on to chat rooms, but he was able to help Anonymous in his own way by acting as public spokesperson. He appeared on TV on behalf of Anonymous, debated the issues they supported, and made public appearances at rallies.

There were many in Anonymous who thought Barrett was a fame whore, but there were also many who liked him. Barrett affected a public persona that I can best describe as a cross between Shit-break from American Pie and that high-society Hapsburg fellow with the enormous lower jaw on Family Guy (you know, the guy who laughs with that unimpressed, extended drawl—haw haw Haaaaaaawwww). He appears to do it mostly as a joke—giving interviews while brandishing a cigarette or a cup of brandy, holding a web conference as he sipped wine in a bathtub…but he was genuine in his love for Anonymous' cause of the week.

In the weeks or months leading up to his arrest, Barrett had become increasingly disillusioned with Anonymous as the anarchists within them were beginning to take over. He had never taken part in any of the DDoS attacks, but the FBI arrested him when he re-posted a link to sensitive information obtained by WikiLeaks. After he was released, Barret posted a three-part Youtube video threatening the life of the FBI agent who arrested him (part 1, part 2, part 3). Big mistake. Barrett was arrested again in raid that was caught live on video chat. He is now serving a decades long prison sentence


Topiary

Topiary is (or used to be) a teenage hacker who at one time did press for Anonymous under his veil of anonymity. He later joined LulzSec and wreaked havoc on government agencies across the web. He was later arrested after it was discovered the LulzSec leader, Sabu, was an FBI informant. Perhaps Topiary's most famous website is when he debated a leader of the Westboro Baptist Church on live TV and hacked into the WBC website on-air (see a recording of it below).

Also, does anyone else think that the Westboro Baptist lady looks an awful lot like the woman who ate the wheels of the bus in the movie Speed?

Beth Grant, who played Helen in Speed

And while we're sidetracked by the subject of Speed, does anyone else think the opening theme of that movie sounds eerily similar to the theme of Metal Gear Solid? Like, I'm positive the guy who wrote the music for Metal Gear ripped off Speed. I remember watching a video (here it is) of the creator of Metal Gear looking devastated after someone reveals to him that the music for Metal Gear Solid 2 was ripped off from a Russian symphony. Did he ever find out about the Speed theme and MGS1?

Okay, I got sidetracked a bit there. Sorry, I re-watched Speed recently. Back to the rogues gallery…


Sabu and Anarchaos

Illustration by Aurich Lawson via arstechnica

I go into detail about these fellows in the Listverse article (Anarchaos is Jeremy Hammond).


Commander X

Photo Source: cbsnews.com

The problem with a leaderless movement is that any bum with a hero complex can come in and bend it to suit his vision. Christopher Doyon (aka Commander X) was that bum—and I don't mean that as an insult he was literally homeless, and participated in Anonymous by spending all of his days in web cafes.

In a lot of ways, Doyon represented the opposite of what Anonymous was supposed to be. He proclaimed himself a leader of Anonymous and likened himself to Batman. He acted unilaterally, declaring targets and ordering people to fire the LOIC without a democratic vote, which is how things are normally done. Doyon wanted the world to be a better place, just as long as everyone knew he was the one who fixed it.

After his arrest, Doyon stood on the steps outside the courtroom where his hearing was held and proclaimed to the press that he was the leader of Anonymous, much like Tony Stark revealing he was Iron Man. But the thing is, Anonymous has no leader, and members were getting tired of his fame seeking.

Doyon skipped bail and fled to Canada, where he is currently in hiding. Despite being in hiding, he goes about town wearing an Anonymous t-shirt and freely gives interviews to reporters.


Tflow

Tflow was an anon who eventually formed part of the LulzSec team. His crowning moment was when he wrote a script that allowed Tunisians to use the internet despite their government's attempts to block it during the Arab Spring. He was also part of the Anonymous team that hacked the website of the copyright alliance and posted on their front page "Payback is a Bitch." Tflow was arrested after Sabu revealed himself to be an FBI informant.

 

LulzSec (some of them) reunited after the arrests. Photo via International Business Times

Some Updates

My article on the 'Ndrangheta appeared on Listverse a couple weeks ago. I also had another article
appear a week after that. Check out:

10 Relentless Personifications of Death

Also my article on pirates of the golden age was accepted and should be up soon (Update: It's up now). I submitted another article about cryptid cats, but I haven't heard back from them yet, which is weird because I handed in that one before the pirate one, and they always let you know whether they'll take it or not, or if they have revision suggestions. Maybe it ended up in their spam folder? I'll inquire about it and/or send it again if I don't hear back.

In the meantime, I'm working on an article about the internet culture Anonymous. After that I may dive into the Americas for a narrative history article on the Maya or Inca.

And just a reminder, for my complete article collection click on Top Ten Lists under the header up there.

No new writing tips to post for this month. I'm thinking of maybe posting writing tips for articles and narrative lists, later on.

That's all for now. I hope you've discovered something new from my lists. Thanks for reading!

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

WritersLife and Happiness Tags

Alyssa from The Devil Orders Takeout hit me up with some blogger tags. I think I'm supposed to tweet this out, but I don't have twitter (I know, I know). BUT I'm still happy to take part in my first blogger game so let's answer some question!

The first section is about my writing routine. The second section section is about what makes me happy.


Writer's Life

 Write fuel: what do you eat/drink while writing?

This depends on whether I'm bulking or cutting (exercise). I'm a night writer so I need caffeine to keep me up. If I'm cutting I drink coffee, black. No milk, sugar or honey. It's a zero calorie drink plus it's a diuretic so it'll help you achieve that six-pack. If I'm bulking I drink dark chocolate milk. Regular chocolate milk only tastes a little bit sweeter than plain milk. Dark chocolate all the way.


Write sounds: what do you listen to while writing?

Oh man, I listen to a constant stream of music. I don't even know where to begin with this. I listen to everything from video game music to pop to classical orchestra. I usually find lyrics distracting, but that not always the case. Here's a lyrical song I'm listening to at the moment:

Write vice: what's your most debilitating distraction?

Basketball. I always get sidetracked by the NBA. I have Thunder vs Knicks open in another tab right now.


Write horror: what's the worst thing that ever happened to you while writing?

Like my computer crashed and I lost my work? That has happened to me, but I'm a good troubleshooter, so I had no trouble recovering my documents. I also make plenty of backups. So I guess nothing bad has really happened to me.


Write joy: Best thing that's ever happened while writing? How do you celebrate small victories?

No time to celebrate! If I don't write, I don't eat. Once I finish one thing (like an article) it's on to the next. The best thing that's ever happened to me while I'm writing? Hmm… When I write I go into my own little world, so I usually don't check emails and stuff while I'm working. So I guess nothing exciting happens while I'm writing. But when I check my messages after I'm usually pretty happy to see an acceptance letter or money deposited into my Paypal account.


Write crew: who do you communicate with (or not) while writing?

Me and me alone, while I'm drafting. I communicate with editors after I'm finished (revision notes and all that), but while I'm composing a draft I don't like to show anybody. Sometimes I have a certain vision that doesn't make sense until the article or story is complete. If I were a baker I wouldn't let you taste the cookie dough; you have to wait for the cookie.


Write secret: what's your writing secret to success or hidden flaw?

I haven't figured out the secret yet. But most useful advice I ever heard was to break large tasks into small segments and take it one at a time. So if I'm writing a list article I don't think about writing all ten, I just concentrate on finishing entry number one, then two, three… Same thing for stories: write chapter one, scene one, then two, three


Write-spiration: what always makes you productive?

An object in motion stays in motion. So if you're staring at a blank page, just get some words down, and it'll get easier.


Write peeve: what's one thing writers (or you) do that's annoying?

I think writers need to lighten up when it comes to reading published authors. I think many writers are too strict following certain rules, and they're quick to pounce on these mistakes and leave scathing reviews on Amazon. Does it really matter if the author wrote "It happened to Sharon and I"?  Don't let it take you out of the story. 


Write words: Share one sentence from a project, past or present.

I can't. I'm a perfectionist and I try to forget my work after it's published. It's less stressful that way. And if you want to see a line from something I'm working on, no cookie dough before the cookie, remember? 




Happiness


So here I'm supposed to list things that make me happy in different categories.


Songs

Books
Treasure Island and The Hobbit are my books of happiness.


Movies
This is going to be a little out of left field, but… Pride and Prejudice, the one with Keira Knightley. It's just a very happy movie.


Food
I like most any food except for squid and noodles. I could go for some walnut cakes right about now.

Words
Reykjavik, conch, willow, moonlight, sunshine, bubble.

Scents
Brown sugar in a frying pan. Meet on the grill.

Random Things
When you're in a movie theater, and you take a moment to look around, and you see that everyone is on the edge of their seats because the movie is so good.

Bloggers
Alyssa is number one of course. I haven't really been able to maintain many of the blogger relationships I made over the late summer/early fall because work took over my life. I have to change that!

Okay, that was my first tag! …Did I do it right?

Are the 'Ndrangheta Responsible for Never-Ending Roadwork in Toronto?

http://www.zooportraits.com/

Update: The werewolf article is up now. You can read it here.

My werewolf list was accepted by Listverse, but it isn't up yet, so no link for now. In the meantime I just handed in an article about the 'Ndrangheta. For those of you who don't know (which is how they like it), the 'Ndrangheta are the world's most powerful mafia.

The most well-known mafia is La Cosa Nostra—these are the guys The Godfather is based off of. But the 'Ndrangheta have overtaken them. Rumor has it the 'Ndrangheta make over 60 billion a year.

The 'Ndrangheta have infested Toronto, Canada. And I have a conspiracy theory that they're behind the never-ending, twelve months a year, roadwork. Seriously, drive down any street in Toronto and you will encounter roadwork. I get that roads need to be maintained, but I've never seen anything like this.

Anyway, wherever the 'Ndrangheta go, they make themselves comfortable by corrupting parts of the local government. They also make a lot of money through legitimate business practices, most of all construction and public works. Also, we know some Toronto officials are prone to corruption, like former crack mayor Rob Ford ('Ndrangheta make most of their money selling cocaine, by the way).

So my theory is: what if they 'Ndrangheta are pressuring local officials to push ahead with unnecessary roadwork to make money off the construction contracts? I can't figure out any other reason why perfectly good roads are being torn up and rebuilt. ALL THE TIME.